Chapter 25 - Barney Encounters a Princess

Princess Evie was a little strange. Her whole family thought so, when they could be bothered. Mostly they didn’t bother, though. Even in a royal family, the youngest of twelve rarely gets any attention. She didn’t mind this, though. She was perfectly content with herself, which was what made her strange. Her whole family, the whole city, it seemed were obsessed with bettering themselves. And not only that, but bettering others. Education, culture, cuisine, endless beauty treatments, and of course a vast variety of shoes. While her family learned, and preened, and changed their shoes, Princess Evie would wander vaguely past them, singing to herself.
And so it came to be that Princess Evie was wandering the streets of the City of Shoes, daydreaming and singing quietly to herself, a song she had just made up. Sometimes when she was daydreaming, Evie forgot to look where she was going, but it didn’t matter because people usually got out of her way, and she walked very slowly, so it didn’t hurt if she crashed into a building. Today, however, someone else was not looking where he was going.

Barney had been thinking. He was thinking about how pretty Celia looked, how much he had enjoyed sending logs to their destruction, and why Sammy was mad at him. Sammy had not spoken to him for four days, since accusing him of stealing a letter. As if he would touch paper. Barney shuddered at the thought. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he had not even seen the girl in the ball gown and bare feet until he walked into her. It was a gentle collision. Their bodies met with the force of a weakling hitting a pillow. The expression of surprise from both parties was not exclamatory. The girl let out a gentle “Oh.” Barney turned red and stammered an apology. Close personal contact was not something he was used to. And they each went on their way.

But Barney’s omnipotent fate would not leave the encounter at that.

Barney, Celia, and a somewhat surly Sammy had left the mill that morning. They had not stayed their full two weeks, due to Sammy’s insistence that he was better, and the mill owner’s constant yelling. Not to mention the curious phenomenon of workers not returning from their days of felling in the forest. They had put on their clean clothes, breakfasted, and taken the little money they had earned, and set off.
There was a long wait outside the city gates, but they had at last been begrudgingly permitted entry. Once inside, they had begun their search for the perfect shoe to replace the one that Barney had so inconsiderately lost. This was more difficult than they had expected. For a city that consisted almost solely of shoe shops, producing and selling upwards of 50,000 pairs of shoes a day, there were surprisingly few sparkly, high heeled ones like the missing one. They were also handicapped by Sammy’s occasional balance problems, and total refusal to speak to Barney. Barney was the only person to have actually seen the shoe, and was needed to identify an appropriate replacement. Every time Sammy saw a shoe he thought might be right, he had to suggest it to Celia, who relayed it to Barney. So far, none of his picks had been anything like the shoe Barney had described. He was starting to think Sammy did not know what “high-heeled and sparkly” meant.

It was not long before Barney once more encountered the girl. It is bad enough to walk into someone once. The second time in one day is awkward. The third is amusing. But four times in one day? There are larger forces at work. Barney was, by this stage, monumentally embarrassed. The girl did not seem to be, though.
“We mustn’t fight it,” she said, and linked her arm through his.

Sammy seemed to defrost a bit after that. By mid-afternoon he was speaking to Barney once more. However, the shoe-hunting seemed to be going worse and worse. Sammy was now picking up shoes that did not look remotely like Barney’s description. How, Barney wondered, did you get ‘brown and sensible’ out of ‘high-heeled and sparkly’? But Barney didn’t dwell on it. He was relieved Sammy was speaking to him again, and had a strange floating feeling. It was almost like the world did not hate him today.
So, while Sammy smiled and pointed out shoes to Celia, Barney and Evie wandered behind them. Evie hummed cheerful songs and pointed out interesting things. It was a good afternoon. At some point, they became separated without really noticing. Barney just looked up and found his friends were no longer in from of him. For some reason, he did not really mind.

The city of shoes was not all opulence and riches. There were corners tucked away where poorer people lived, and less successful shoemakers sold misshapen boots from roadside stalls. But these places were small and well-hidden. The King did not like poor people. He did not like ugliness, dirtiness, bad smells, or things that were broken. And so he got rid of them. Officials in gold-trimmed uniforms politely shepherded those citizens too poor to pay the considerable taxes, out a small and inconspicuous back exit from the city, avoiding physical contact for fear of soiling their well-pressed white suits. The poor people rarely protested. There had not been an uprising for year, because everyone was so used to the treatment. After an area had been cleansed of the poor, it was then cleansed of dirt, refurbished, and made into hotels for wealthy tourists.

The King was not an evil man, it must be understood, merely fastidious and greedy. He was kind to children and cats, and fair in his settlement of payment disputes. He just did not like mess.

Barney and Evie stumbled into one of the poor areas that day. They had somehow been separated from Sammy and Celia, who had last been seen heading into the back corner of the largest outlet shoe shop of the city. The sun was setting over the golden wall, and a rosy glow was cast over the city. Barney and Evie turned a corner and were shocked by the sight that met their eyes.

Evie, being the youngest of twelve, and the black sheep of the family, had never paid much attention to her father’s policies. She preferred to wander, daydream, and sing. When she saw the line of tired, ragged men and women being escorted out the back door, she did not believe it was her father’s doing, and first the first time asserted her rank upon people.
She rose up to her full height, lifted her chin, and thought royal thoughts. She straightened her back, and breathed deeply, and practiced her most snootily royal tone in her head. She marched over to the guards.
“Stop that, this instant! I command you to release these citizens, and allow them return to their homes!” She commanded.
Barney was very impressed. If he had secretly been marching people out the back gate of a city, he would have stopped and released them immediately. The guards ignored her.

Evie repeated her command: “I am Evie, twelfth child of the King, princess of the city and the lands around it. You will release those prisoners, or the King will hear of it!”

This time the guards laughed. “Threatening us with the King? This is the King’s doing. We are merely following orders. We should have you thrown in a dungeon for impersonating a royal person.” The head guard approached as he was speaking.
It is an awful thing to suddenly realise that your father is not who you thought he was. Evie felt an odd sinking feeling in her stomach. Her head filled with fuzz, and she could not think properly. She had always believed her father to be a good man, if a little preoccupied with shoes. To find out suddenly that he was keeping the city clean by turning poor and unsuccessful people out of their homes was a terrible shock.

Evie was so busy being shocked that she did not realise what the guards were about to do. Guards crept in.

All of a sudden, a guard stood on either side of Evie, and each clasped an arm in a firm grip. Another guard stood beside Barney. There were not enough guards to spare two for him, and they didn’t think he looked like much trouble.

They were wrong.

Barney was small and twisty, but his journey had strengthened him. The walking, the hard work at the mill, and the struggling against assailants on his doomed rescue mission had strengthened him physically. His experience in the forest of silence had reminded him that people were the least of his worries, and had strengthened his will. Barney fought.

He struck the man holding him, hard, with an elbow in the belly. The man “oofed”, and bent at the waist, but did not release Barney. Barney did it again. The guard wrapped both arms around him and lifted him from the ground. Barney kicked out with his feet, struggling. A lucky kick caught the guard in the side of the knee, and he dropped Barney, clutching at his knee and moaning. Barney stood up and ran after the group.

The guard was not completely useless, though. The King was a very particular man, and his employees were not chosen simply for their excellent grooming practices. He grabbed Barney by the leg, pulling him to the ground. His grip was tight. Barney could feel it cutting off the blood supply to his foot. He kicked out at the hand with his free leg, but missed, catching himself on the ankle-bone, sending a juddering pain up his leg. He thrashed about. The guard changed his hold, forcing Barney upright and shoving him forward. Barney’s leg collapsed under him. His position on the ground put him at the perfect height, as the guard bent over him. He brought his elbow up into the guard’s groin.

The struggled had lasted less than five minutes, but as Barney crawled out from under the moaning guard, the gate swung shut with a loud clang, and an air of finality. The back door of the city was less fancy than the front, smaller but solider, made of some sort of thick metal. Barney limped over to it. It was perfectly smooth. There was no way to open it. And Evie was on the other side. Barney hit the gate as hard as he could, but all it did was hurt his hand. The guard behind him had stopped whimpering and was getting up. Barney limped away as fast as he could, back into the city.